Beauties and the Least

Feb 3, 2012 by Chuck Bloom

Hottest women of all-time list not reflective of actual female beauty

One look in the mirror tells me everything I need to know as to why I never read, (or would never read) Men’s Health magazine. At the end of 2011, this publication surveyed its readers and compiled a list of the 100 “Hottest” Women of All-Time.

All I can say is to paraphrase this: hotness is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s good to know the folks at MH trend toward the trashy rather than the exotic. The listing exposes a readership which is far too concentrated on certain female body parts rather than what actually makes a woman attractive.

As to make my point, Men’s Health proclaimed the hottest woman of ALL-TIME to be …

… former “Friends” start and tabloid queen Jennifer Aniston!

Say again? She doesn’t make my top 1,000; I can come up with an endless amount of names to trump her … because being beautiful, or being hot, is NOT just on the (skin) surface.

There’s a major difference between “hot” and “beautiful;” if a woman is classified under the latter, she will retain her beauty despite an increase in her years. France’s Catherine Deneuve remains a beautiful, desirable woman today – at the age of 68 – as she did when she burst on the world cinematic scene in 1962. Up to the day she was tragically killed, at the age of 52, Grace Kelly was a woman of extraordinary beauty. Sophia Loren is 77 today and still knocks ‘em dead in the looks department.

Our society has placed the wrong emphasis on a person’s “beauty” because it truly emanates from inside. Sadly, too many beautiful women (millions of which are NOT on this list but should be) don’t see what the males species sees. They never believe their own press clippings, or compliments, and go through their lives and careers with the improper impression of who they really are. In many cases, they get entangled in abusive relationships with men who prey upon this weakness in order to exploit or (even worse) to physically harm.

All in search of the impossible – perfection of “beauty” – whatever that means.

Here is the complete list from Men’s Health:

100. Catherine Bach, 99. Tina Turner, 98. June Wilkerson, 97. Cybill Shepherd, 96. Mila Kunis, 95. Julia Roberts, 94. Kathleen Turner, 93. Linda Ronstadt, 92. Dolly Parton, 91. Susan George, 90. Barbara Eden, 89. Phoebe Cates, 88. Dorothy Dandridge, 87. Christina Hendricks, 86. Grace Kelly, 85. Sasha Grey, 84. Loni Anderson, 83. Lili St. Cyr, 82. Audrey Hepburn, 81. Clara Bow;

80. Elle MacPherson, 79. Kim Novak, 78. Jane Seymour, 77. Kelly LeBrock, 76. Anita Ekberg, 75. Brigette Bardot, 74. Demi Moore, 73. Jane Russell, 72. Suzanne Somers, 71. Cheryl Tiegs, 70. Natassja Kinski, 69. Elizabeth Taylor, 68. Tawny Kitaen, 67. Jean Harlow, 66. Alicia Silverstone, 65. Nicole Scherzinger, 64. Kylie Minogue, 63. Tyra Banks, 62. Veronica Lake, 61. Denise Richards;

60. Jennifer Lopez, 59. Diane Lane; 58. Rita Hayworth, 57. Pam Grier, 56. Bo Derek, 55. Mae West, 54. Jessica Alba, 53. Lauren Bacall, 52. Carrie Fisher, 51. Kim Basinger, 50. Brooklyn Decker, 49. Jenna Jameson, 48. Kathy Ireland, 47. Sophia Loren, 46. Paris Hilton, 45. Michelle Pfeiffer, 44. Aishwarya Rai, 43. Erin Andrews, 42. Brooke Shields, 41. Miranda Kerr;

40. Mariah Carey, 39. Cindy Crawford, 38. Teri Hatcher, 37. Claudia Schiffer, 36. Betty Grable, 35. Halle Berry, 34. Claudia Cardinale, 33. Beyonce Knowles, 32. Penelope Cruz, 31. Farrah Fawcett, 30. Jayne Mansfield, 29. Anna Kournikova, 28. Ann-Margret, 27. Natalie Portman, 26. Kim Kardashian, 25. Gisele Bundchen, 24. Cameron Diaz, 23. Carmen Electra, 22. Salma Hayek; 21. Monica Belluci;

20. Heidi Klum, 19. Heather Locklear, 18. Shakira, 17. Anna Nicole Smith, 16. Christie Brinkley, 15. Jenny McCarthy, 14. Megan Fox, 13. Catherine Deneuve, 12. Scarlet Johansson, 11. Sharon Stone;

10. Angelina Jolie, 9. Jane Fonda, 8. Pamela Anderson, 7. Bettie Page, 6. Ursula Andress, 5. Madonna, 4. Britney Spears, 3. Marilyn Monroe, 2. Raquel Welch, 1. Jennifer Aniston.

What? No Evangeline Lilly? Olivia Wilde? No Charlize Theron???? Totally bogus, my friends. Where is the Julie Christie of the 1960s? Or Natalie Wood?

Anyone want to honestly tell me Dolly Parton is “hotter” than Faith Hill? Skier Lindsay Vonn is better looking any other female athlete (and she is actually a champion)!

Any list that includes porn stars and Britney Spears (at number 4 of all places) can, and should, be easily dismissed. As said, that’s the white trash talking among the rag’s readers.

According to the MH website, Anniston was named number one because, “Funny is sexy, and Jennifer Aniston is funny. Her down-to-earth persona makes her seem attainable … And her all-too-human love life off screen inspires sympathy that not even a string of bland romantic comedies can diminish. Other sex symbols drift toward one-dimensionality, becoming flat icons in the process, but throughout her career Aniston has remained sexy, funny, and unmistakably real.”

Anyone really remember the last time one of her movies made you … laugh, instead of gagging.

If you ask me (and I’ll go ahead and ask myself), the most beautiful part of a woman are her … eyes. Body parts are simply there, but a person’s eyes ARE the mirrors to the soul and can convey more without the use of words than anything in the world. Because communication is the key to all relationships, eyes must be employed to either bolster, or refute, statements made in that association.

All my hot women have wonderful eyes and the rest of the packaging is a mere bonus. If a man is honest with himself, and if a woman is honest with herself, the truth will be seen from their eyes.

It’s the eyes of the beholden than always get to the beholder.